Page 23 - Voices-2022.05
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Failure to Communicate
PJ Kleffner, DTM - Immediate Past District Director
that screwed into the socket. They had a very meaning of what they said. One summer day,
peculiar feature. If one of the bulbs burned he kept opening the refrigerator and stood there
out, the entire string went dark, but the lights trying to decide what he wanted. Refrigerators
came back on again if you removed the bad were not self-defrosting back then, so this made
bulb. Whenever the lights went out, my father the ice buildup. Mom told him several times to
patiently removed lights from the string one at make up his mind, or stay out of the refrigerator.
a time until he found the bad one. We were too She finally yelled at him, “Mark Eugene, if you
poor to buy spare bulbs, so we often had a few touch that refrigerator one more time, you’re
empty sockets on our Christmas lights. gonna get hit!”
My parents used to tell a story about my That statement seems pretty clear – nothing
older brother John when he was a toddler. ambiguous about it. Mark, however, put it to the
Apparently, he wasn’t the brightest bulb in the test. He stood there waiting until Mom looked
room. He was playing around the Christmas up and made eye contact. Then he defiantly
tree, and stuck his finger in one of the empty reached out and touched the refrigerator door.
sockets. He got shocked and cried for a while, Her response was swift. Mark received the full
but then went back to playing. Accidentally, or force of her favorite weapon of mass destruction,
otherwise, he managed to stick his finger in an the wooden spoon!
empty socket again. When he came crying to Before you think ill of my mother, let me
Mom for sympathy, she said, “Well, do it again, remind you that a lot of communication is
Dummy.” John did not understand the concept non-verbal. Let’s just say that she discovered
of sarcasm. Like a moth to an open flame, he the wooden spoon to be a very effective
turned back toward the tree. I was too young non-verbal communication tool. Due to
to remember, but she swears they stopped him modern views on child abuse, you may want
before he did it again. to consider other options. The next time you
As children get older, they begin to recognize find yourself in a situation where you have a
that statements can have both literal and implied failure to communicate, remember to return to
meanings. My younger brother Mark drove our the basics. Keep it simple. Keep it literal. Think
parents crazy by constantly testing the literal like a six-year-old.
VOICES! | MAY 2022 23
