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FROM THE WINGS
Failure to Communicate
PJ Kleffner, DTM - Immediate Past District Director
“What we have here. . . is a failure to Is it to match their red fire truck? Does it have
communicate.” Do you remember that famous something to do with bondage?
line from the movie Cool Hand Luke? For Paul Here are a few examples of how children
Newman, this failure to communicate was think, including one that I mentioned in a
related to his issues with authority figures. I find previous Voices! column. Many years ago, at a
that the English language is often the biggest family gathering, I saw my young nephew in
obstacle to effective communication. George the yard—lower lip sticking out, on the verge
Carlin observed that we “drive on parkways, of tears. When I asked if something was wrong,
and park on driveways”. He made his living by he said he lost a quarter. Thinking I would help
pointing out the absurdities of our language, him look for it, I asked, “Where did you lose it?”
which often involved literal interpretation He looked at me like I was some kind of a nut. I
of the words. While many of these language assumed that he didn’t hear me, so I asked again,
absurdities are humorous, they can also cause “Where did you lose it?” I knew from his blank
a failure to communicate. As Toastmasters, stare that we were still not communicating. I
we learn to adjust our level of speaking to our repeated the question in my mind as I tried to
audience. Denzel Washington’s catch phrase understand what was wrong— “Where did you
in the movie “Philadelphia” was “Explain it lose it?” Suddenly, I realized the literal meaning
to me like I am six years old.” I don’t spend of the words. I said, “If you knew where you lost
much time around children, so I forget how to it, it wouldn’t be lost, right?” He grinned and
communicate with 6-year-olds. Fortunately, said, “Yeah.” Now that we were clear on that
it works out, if I just remember that they take point, I asked more thoughtful questions, like,
everything literally. “Where were you playing when you noticed it
Their extremely literal view of the world was missing?” and “Are you sure you had it when
is what makes riddles work – Why do firemen you started playing in that area?”
wear red suspenders? Most children can tell you Because they are so literal, the subtle
that firemen wear red suspenders to hold their forms of communication (like sarcasm) are
pants up. Adults tend to go abstract – looking completely lost on children. When I was young,
for that hidden meaning, that double entendre. Christmas tree lights had big, pear-shaped bulbs
22 ONE COMMUNITY
