Page 39 - 2018 December

time I had offered him some positive and solid perspective, it is of utmost importance to learn
options to gain control of the situation, which how to interact with fellow members in such
he continuously rejected out of hand. One day a way that we acknowledge the existence of

it became a crisis and he demanded that I loan conflict. We come from many diverse ethnic
him a sizeable amount of cash. He developed backgrounds, life styles, cultures, and schools of
a story about why I was obligated to give the thought that make it very easy to feel conflict. The
money to him. I was at a point of sheer anger. challenge is for us to recognize our emotional

Thoughts began churning through my head connection to conflict.
about why this was happening. Then I realized When stimulus triggers emotions of conflict
this was nothing more than a challenge to deal we have a choice. We can react or we can pause
with conflict. What are my options? I could give and think. The pause gives us time to consider

him what he wants and take the consequences. the situation, the specifics of the conflict, and
I could escalate the situation by demonstrating time to consider our real options. In considering
my anger toward his behavior. Or, I could our options we consider what we truly desire in
calmly respond to his behavior with calculated the relationship. By developing our response out

behavior of my own, which is what I chose to of integrity and respect for all persons involved,
do. In formulating my response I considered we are choosing higher levels of service and
the overall situation then made it clear what I excellence toward our fellow Toastmasters. When
was willing to accept and what I was not willing we choose to respond from a place of integrity

to accept. When I articulated my response I was and respect the results are more positive and life
calm, clear and brief. It took him over a year to giving. Our behavior is now practicing the core
ponder his challenge and about six weeks ago he values of Toastmasters.
began a positive line of communication which The next time you experience the emotions

has led to resolving the conflict. of conflict remember S+P=R. Stimulus, Pause,
There are many situations in Toastmasters Response. A quality pause produces a quality
where we feel a conflict with someone over an response.
issue of importance to us. From a leadership

VOICES! |DECEMBER 2018 39