Page 38 - 2018 December

LOCKE ON LEADERSHIP

Leadership:

Exploring the Fear of Conflict

Patrick Locke, DTM

Who are you in conflict with? A family member, M1 tank.” I would have popped a round in her
a relative, a co-worker, a boss, a friend, a business, back window then proceeded to drive right over
a politician, the other driver, the law, a fellow her. Then I thought, ya, that’s what I would have
Toastmaster, and the list goes on, doesn’t it! done many years ago.

Conflict is everywhere, in everything, and When I lived in San Diego I remember a day
all around you. At any given moment conflict when that did happen. I turned on the TV and
could strike out at you from seemingly nowhere! saw a developing story about a guy who had
I don’t know about you but conflict isn’t at the just stolen an M60 battle tank from the Army

top of my “Things To Do List” every day. As a Reserve Center, and was at that very moment
matter of fact I attempt to keep conflict off my driving it down streets literally crushing cars,
list! Why? Because I don’t want to deal with it, RV’s and anything he desired to destroy. There
do you? was nothing the police could do—the guy was

It causes tempers to flare and people to get out of control. The reporter suggested he may
angry, heats up conversations to boiling points, have been angry about something! Really, do
and just plain drives people crazy! When people you think that could be true? He surely wasn’t
get crazy they do stupid things! Have you ever dealing with conflict very well, was he?

done something that you wished you could have Conflict can trigger very nasty and
responded to differently? I bet you have! debilitating emotions when not consciously
I couldn’t even begin to count the times my controlled. During your lifetime what sorts of
behavior escalated or even initiated a conflict in conflict have you faced? How have you responded

the past. I feel I’ve come a long way from those to conflict? Most of all how have you learned to
days. Just the other day I was driving down the resolve conflict? Have you come to understand
freeway in the number one lane. A car cut in front by intellect and practice that working through
of me so close I let off the gas and applied some conflict is the gateway to relationship building?

brake but couldn’t have been more than about I had a recent experience with a close friend
five feet from the car. Then she rolled down her of some 30 years. Over the course of a few years
window and flipped me the bird, I was triggered! he had made some questionable decisions which
My first thoughts were, “I wish I was driving an put him in a bad financial position. During this

38 ONE COMMUNITY