Page 9 - February 2021 Voices

if people are in such an active state of ‘flight, feel safe and secure with who we are and what
fight, or freeze’ that their coordinated responses we’re likely to say or do, we may never know
allowing compassion are not available? They are enough to truly understand them. In developing
in a constant state of being triggered, whether this trust, it is up to us as individuals to train

the stimuli be low, high, or in-between. our compassion instinct. Fortunately, this can
As for the matter with most people we be done easily and respectfully, even within
observe or may know, perhaps it makes sense our COVID social expectations and rules. Here

to say to oneself, “Well, it’s been almost a year! is one compassion strengthening exercise you
They should have adapted by now.” That could can practice, taught by Dr. Barbara Fredrickson:
As you do things throughout your day,
whether that is watching the news, sitting at
. . . it’s not the a stoplight, visiting a coffee shop, getting gas

in your car, or buying groceries, take in the
words you choose faces and body postures of others around you.

Without being intrusive or disrespectful, note
that matter, but what you observe. Are their faces drawn? Do

they have smiling eyes? Are their shoulders tense
rather the feelings or relaxed? What sense do you have on their

happiness? The point is to not be thinking of
the words evoke. your own thoughts, but to be attentive to others.

With this respectful distance and focus,
imagine the ways—small or large—that they may
be suffering right now. It is helpful to consider

be our natural response to try and understand, that even those who appear to be 100% happy
learn, and predict. But, consider this: there have some area in their life that has a sense
are many who have yet to find a place within of suffering, as we are all human. With this
themselves that feels safe enough to be open awareness, allow yourself to witness with your
to learning psychological flexibility and adopt body, not just your eyes and your mind. See if

resilient-thinking styles. Before analyzing that, you can feel in your own body the emotional
imagine that just as we are, we are all a colorful load that the person may be carrying. When you
part of what makes our beautiful kaleidoscope feel it you do not need to stay there, land on it
of humanity. lightly, just enough to create a bridge of empathy.

This is where regular small practices that On this bridge, continuing to lightly feel and
develop our compassion can assist us with witness, extend a simple wish for the person’s
building bridges of empathy to the experience of release from pain and suffering.
another person. For the truth is, unless someone Try saying one or more of the following

is being genuinely open with us because they classic phrases:

VOICES! | FEBRUARY 2021 9