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to immediately stop talking and
take our seats. No one ever dared

to test her authority on this matter.
I developed an interest in
electronics and all things technical
at a very young age. By 8th grade,

I kept a stash of small tools and so I’m afraid there’s no more room.”
a roll of black electrical tape in He also liked to play pranks and
my desk. One day, I decided to play a practical practical jokes. The meat market was one of
joke on Sister Gerard. I slipped back into the those old-fashioned, open front places on SW

classroom early, and taped the bell clapper to one Yamhill Street before all the urban renewal. The
side of the bell. Many of us were already seated street was lined with meat, fish and fresh produce
when she came in, picked up the bell and gave it shops all the way from the Willamette River up
a shake – silence. She looked angrily around the to SW 4th Avenue. There was a tavern right next

room to find the guilty party who had tampered door to us, and we could see and hear people
with her bell. She turned the bell over, and when going in and out because of the open nature of
she saw the electrical tape, she immediately our shop. One day, we were amused to hear the
locked eyes with me. I could no longer maintain a gasps, followed by laughter, as people opened the

poker face and broke into a faint smile. I thought tavern door and were confronted by a very large
I was going to be in big trouble, but she realized pig head sitting on the end of the bar. It had big,
that it was a pretty good, harmless prank, and gnarly teeth and was decked out with a pair of
burst out laughing. Unfortunately, this moment sun glasses and a glass of beer sitting in front of

of levity passed, and she returned to her usual its snout. I’m sure the health department would
draconian personality. frown on that sort of thing these days.
I think I can blame at least part of my sense There you have just a few examples of
of humor on my father. As a teenager, I worked what shaped my sense of humor. These rich

with him in the retail meat market that he experiences from my childhood provide many
managed. It’s an understatement to say that he speech topics for my Toastmasters meetings.
didn’t subscribe to “The customer is always right” However, I try to remember my audience, and
philosophy. One day he got into an argument sometimes have to tone it down, or leave out a

with a customer, and the customer told him to few details, to avoid offending or grossing people
shove something “where the sun doesn’t shine.” out. Some stories are best left for close friends
My father calmly replied, “Earlier today, a over a beer in the pub.
woman told me to shove a pot roast up there,

VOICES! | SEPTEMBER 2021 21