Page 26 - November 2019
P. 26
FIELD NOTES
Of Phlegm, Mucus, & Other
Things Green
James Wantz, DTM
I’ve been sick for 3 weeks! That’s 3 weeks of - I became a bedroom troll and did my part to am pleasantness challenged right now.
health I will never get back! I am, frankly, sick increase the profits of cold medicine companies I miss the positivity that I had before
and tired of being...yeah, you’ve heard that one. everywhere. I was home so much my cat was the season of the sickness. I would really
Creativity goes right out the nose when I’m sick... on Catagram looking for a new living situation. like my eyes, nose, ears & throat to return
along with mucus. After expectorating, I wad up I need my infrequent social interactions like to their intended function (with no more
my creativity and toss it in the garbage (turns native Oregonians need Vitamin D supplements. goo bursting forth!). My thoughts go out to
out, creativity, when sneezed out the nose is My club meetings keep me connected and you if you have the crud this time of year.
green...who knew?). My world became very small positive - sickness meant I became disconnected Content yourself with this one fact - you get
- survival mode one might say - and I missed and negative. I even started writing an anti-social better faster if you infect another person
going to work, evening activities, and - worst manifesto (it is national novel writing month (it’s true!)...and drink lots of fluids (gin
of all - my home toastmasters club meetings! I after all) but was too tired to finish the first & tonic doesn’t count according to
know, dreadful! paragraph (which is actually good - the world my doctor).
I am an introvert who does a very passable job doesn’t need another anti-social manifesto from Next month
of acting like an extrovert in Toastmasters. I love a sick white guy). maybe my
speaking to groups, presenting to audiences, and I’ve stopped taking cold medicine, and I article will be
facilitating training sessions. But the last month thought I was on the mend (and planning to more positive
has been a series of activity belt tightenings attend my club tomorrow) when my coworker and socially
my Google calendar hasn’t known since we said, “You were much more pleasant when connected...yeah right!
were introduced several years ago. I cancelled you were drugged to the gills.” Just because At this point a baby unicorn
everything non-essential...except headaches, I get irritated at every little sound (I slapped with a litter of kittens on its back could prance
earaches, & throat aches (which kept coming that yoghurt right out of her hand! I detest the by me and I’d yell, “GET OFF MY LAWN!”
despite me pointing to my calendar to show plasticky scraping of her spoon in the single Oh...how I look forward to feeling better.
them they weren’t scheduled...EVER). This serve Greek yoghurt cup!) and glare at everyone
sickness removed all vestiges of my extrovertism doesn’t mean I am unpleasant. I prefer to say I
26 ONE COMMUNITY VOICES! |NOVEMBER 2019 27
