Page 24 - 2015.11.Voices

Tell Me A Story. .

The Not So Friendly Skies
by Yoshyiko Okamura

Over the years, air travel has got a bad reputation. Long lines, extra fees, lost bags, delays, full body x-rays,
unfriendly agents and flight attendants, and to top it off, tiny bags of gourmet snacks. .............. I am sorry. I work for
an airline. We understand passengers’ frustration, but there are always two sides to any story. Please let me tell you
our side.
Our frustration is dealing with passengers who either complain about pretty much anything we ask or just simply
lack common sense. Here are a few examples. “Sir, we are closing the main cabin door. Please turn your electronic
device off or to airplane mode.” “I’m texting an important message to my client. This device won’t interfere with
the navigation system.” This is a common dialog onboard the aircraft. We are more than happy to reseat anyone
to the texting section which is located outside of the aircraft. Here is another example. “Mam, please return your
seat-back to the upright position for landing.” “This stupid economy seat reclines only an inch. Do you really think
that one inch makes the difference between life and death?” She’s got a good point. I can’t disagree with her. (Life,
death, life, death. ) But we are not changing FAA regulations. Please comply with crew members’ instructions.
There are also passengers who do anything to save money. An infant under the age of two can travel free as long
as it is held by an adult. I can’t tell you how often we see a child who looks older than two sitting uncomfortably on
mom’s lap and completely blocking her view. “How old are you, honey?” “Three!” “No, she is one!” If you want your
children to travel free, you can train them to stay quietly in your carry-on bags and stow them under the seats.

This is not the only case where passengers find creative ways to save money.
If you want to bring your pet into the cabin, you have to pay a fee. The fee is
waived for service dogs. Service dogs are typically large dogs, and they are
well trained, calm and observant. Red flags go up when we see passengers
walking to the airplane with their service dog, a chihuahua, trying to make
a break for freedom. “Brutus, get back here!” Any dog can become a service
dog if a passenger requires it for any sort of assistance including emotional
support. We have no problem with small dogs that provide emotional
support as long as they are trained as a service dogs. Untrained service
dogs bark constantly, they try to run away, they tear seat-pockets and as the
excitement heats up, they poo. I don’t know how those uncontrollable dogs
give their owners emotional support. They give us emotional scars. Please pay a fee and bring your lovely pet in a
cage with you.
Just as service dogs can travel free, wheelchair service is also free for people who have difficulty walking. At the
destination, if all agents are busy assisting others, we ask our passengers to stay on the airplane and wait for a
wheelchair. Unfortunately some people believe that they are entitled to be served first, and they yell at us for
making them wait. When they finish telling us how horrible our wheelchair service is, they stand up in a huff and
storm off without any assistance. I am so glad that we are able to fix you legs in flight. It’s a miracle.
When I see this kind of inflight miracle, I can understand why passengers complain about not using our special
powers more often. “Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for the delay. Portland is experiencing heavy fog, and we
are waiting for the weather to improve.”“Excuse me. So, I must Portland right now. You know. I am competing at,
um, a Toastmasters’ humorous contest tonight. You know.” We may be able to fix your legs, but we can not change
the weather no matter how hard we try.
The next time you get frustrated with air travel, please remember our side of the story. We are punching bags to
absorb passengers’ frustrations. We are dog trainers to calm unruly dogs. We are also under constant pressure
to improve our skills as witches and wizards to create more miracles. Because our goal is to make your flying
experience as pleasant as possible, we accept those challenges. Bring them on!
24 Volume 2 Issue 5 - NOVEMBER 2015