Page 8 - Voices! - September 2015

VIEWPOINT

Leaders Eat Last

By Michelle Alba Lim, DTM – District Director

Growing up in the Philippines, my favorite hangout was the kitchen. I
loved to watch my mom prepare and serve meals for seemingly never-
ending visitors. I would wonder aloud why she didn’t eat until after
everyone had eaten. She would whisper to me, “The hostess eats last.”
It was her way of making sure that everyone’s needs had been served
before she sat down to eat. Her philosophy seemed to work. Papa’s
friends loved her. When he passed away when I was nine, she easily found
work in the homes of our former guests. As hired help, she was expected
to eat only after her employers had eaten. That was no problem for my
Mom. Eating last came naturally.
Years later, as a young mother struggling to feed four children on my meager income, I recall my youngest
daughter Katherine asking, “Mommy, why aren’t you eating?” I would smile at her and whisper, “Moms eat last.”
Katherine (now a mother of three) recently reminded me of how I used to eat last when they were children.
Then she hugged me warmly and whispered,“Now I eat last, too.”She said that she felt cared for and safe when
I chose to eat last. Now she does the same with her children.
Imagine my delight when I came across Simon Sinek’s book Leaders Eat Last: Why Some Teams Pull Together
and Others Don’t. Seems like hostesses and moms aren’t the only ones who eat last! Sinek wrote that great
leaders sacrifice their own comfort for the good of those they care for. He wrote that most junior Marines ate
first while the most senior Marines ate last. The senior leaders stood at the back of the line, risking that food
might run out before their turn. Instead of sitting at a “VIP Table” expecting service, they waited for everyone
else to be served.
He went on to say that the best leaders fostered trust and cooperation among their teams. They built a “Circle
of Safety”where members felt safe and supported. In this safe and supportive environment, everyone felt they
belonged. All energies were devoted to facing common challenges, hurdling common obstacles, and sharing
strategies to succeed.
Eating last is symbolic for many other things in life. It’s a mindset of willingness to serve, rather than being
served. We can all be leaders who eat last, literally as well as figuratively. The world would be a gentler, happier,
and more fulfilling place if we were.
Are you a leader who eats last?

Leading is not the same as being the leader. Being the leader means you hold the
highest rank, either by earning it, good fortune or navigating internal politics.
Leading, however, means that others willingly follow you - not because they have
to, not because they are paid to, but because they want to.

Simon Sinek

8 Volume 2 Issue 3 - SEPT 2015